Journal For Dreams
by Lover-G
Summary: Harry's become dark and begins to think that fate is playing a cruel joke on him. Keeping him from his wishes, but one faithful day Severus finds out through a book, and finds much about the Golden boy. Slash SS x HP No OoTP spoilers, a bit AU that's all
1. Question Why?

A/N: Hi, am trying this writing stuff out to see if I can really write, and see if you guys like my writing. Hopefully I'll get some reviews and hopefully you guys out there will help me out. I'd greatly appreciate that. On with the story that I have yet to release to you people.  
  
Journal For Dreams  
  
Chapter One: Question Why?  
  
The room was quiet, almost dead silent, as the room walls draped crimson paint and light glowed only a little to offer. Two shadowed figures plastered on the wall creating it's own dance. Sounds of pure bliss were made as sheets were heard to rustle, and low muttering, yet affectionate confession was made.   
  
Two lovers in bed showing each other the talents that they'd show only each other and no one else, as endless promises and sweet talk was spoken to the other. They had stopped as they finish and hit their climax point, they talked to one of another complementing and saying thick honey words that the heart could only say to it's other half. Slowly they drifted into sleep, into each other's arms not caring for the worlds and it's problems. A prayer they prayed that night in their hearts that they'd never be apart after discovering each other...  
  
Tap, tap  
  
The author of the blissful tense short prose had decided to take a break. Thoughts ran through the head of the writer, the vivid and realistic images flooded in the owner's mind that created this story so far. The creator of the story stayed up in the tower writing, away from the world and away from the pain. It was the perfect escape from everything that tried to tie him down to what was right and what was wrong. The author stared out of the window; he admired the view of white fluff covering every inch of the surface area the eye can see. As it was perfect and un-touch, it was not ruined as much as he was. He smiled in a sadistic way as the scent of the dead earth blew into the room, making him chill and enjoy.  
  
He stared back down to his piece of writing and putter TBC (to be continued) after it, as he began to write something else, he spoke it out loud so he may be more collected and precise with what he wanted to write. "Wonder what would happen it they ever found out, ever found out that there savior of the world was nothing, but a fraud. Would they think me wrong and say that I am the only one who can save them, the only one. I'm still young, and they think that I'm almost like an adult, they give me responsibility and blame me for everything, even myself. I wish that they could realize that someone else could've done the same things that I have."  
  
He paused a moment as he thought of away to put a thought into more simpler lines then long talk, he then added. "No they wouldn't they're all to simple minded even to see through my act as a hero."   
  
The writer had ask this question of 'Why?' so many times before in most of his entries he had written down. Along with the written short poems, prose, and other odds and ends done with a quill and voice in the privacy away from others, he still lingered and asked that question. He knew he'd be writing that until he got his answer, which seemed to be a long way from now to understand. He laughed out loud as he thought to himself and the several of ways he had written his question, it truly was funny to him as to the many ways he wrote it.  
  
Hatred then cluttered his thoughts, as his mind went about love ones that he lost, just because he never got that answer. The wind then blew in again as if to coo and calm him down, like a mother does with a bad tempered child. He then tried to think of something else, as he read over what he wrote, he knew who he was thinking of in those romantic clips. A person who hated him and a person he couldn't have. He wished he could choose a life away from here, a life like his stories. He knew that it was hopeless and that it would never come true, he sighed. Chained to life was what he was, at mid thought a tug in his brain told him to get out, as he knew someone was coming. He quickly grabbed his broom and flew out of the window of that tower and back to his own tower where he was still asleep. He had forgotten his book and without notice, but so tired he fell on himself shattering as he then slept.  
  
Meanwhile up in the tower, a dark tall figure stood checking for a student to be out of bed, but no luck as he noticed that the student was gone. He had towered over to a desk where a tiny golden design was on the dark black book. Curiosity got to him as he then took the book checking as if being watched. He would read some of the many secrets in the book, so that he may then blackmail the student if needed. He smiled cruelly and left the place, as with some happy thoughts of torment he could do to that particular student. When they found out him to knowing all the secrets they held so close and dear to them, they would be wiser to be more careful next time.  
  
A/N: You know, you probably can guess the people that I'm talking about in the story without giving much description on there physical appearances. I'm very proud of my first story and first thing that I've posted on fanfiction.net and I hope people will send me comments to help me out. I hope that my writing pleases you all and myself, for it's been pleasing me for a long while.  
  
Yours truly, the devoted beginner and hopefully a person who can finish her stories, Lover-G 


	2. The Actual Life of the Boy Who Lived

A/N: Wow thank you guys for the reviews I love them, and thank you guys for the support. I'm sorry that this took a while to get out, but I was trying to fix and edit it. There might be still some mistakes, so you can't say I warned you, well happy reading.

Chapter Two: The Actual Life of the Boy-Who-Lived 

As Severus Snaped walked down to his dungeons, after making another round for students out of bed, he had opened the book and looked scanning the pages. The pages were full of doodles and writings of multiple things, somewhere good, and some were not. Everything seemed so dark with what the book held. Pictures and notes of many of things done in what seemed to be dried blood and very fine dark ink. Seemed pressed enough to ensure its permanency. Severus knew that this student seemed to have a very shadowed and dark life. He read through what seemed to be a Slytherin child's mind. It was just full of hate and dark thoughts for muggles.

He looked through reading many of the little words written, as wishes and dreams, goals and success were written in. He had to temporary halt as he was in front of his dwellings; he hastily said the password as he rushed in to read more. The student's touch of life written here had caught him, making him trapped in wonder and wanting to know much more. He read to know the hurt and sorrows, and any other feelings of the student. He seemed hungered by the writing more then the visual display.

He looked through reading as he noticed he had not a clue of the person. Scanning back to the front no name was written, but five words caught his attention _'I wish I never existed'_ He read on as he summarized in his mind what was the entry on the page saying. The angst teen he was reading about had expressed so much anger in the writing. About the muggles he lived with and the people around him, he swore, it almost seemed like another Tom Riddle reincarnated. He hoped that who ever it might have been that wrote this would never become a dark ruler after Tom Riddle.

Severus had found this information out after a meeting with Albus. When he had returned back from a Death Eater meeting at the Riddle mansion. It had seemed that when Voldemort was asking for a de-aging potion he was blabbing about the rebirth of Tom. This caught his attention, the name Tom seemed to be significant when Voldemort was practically singing it. He knew it had some connection to Voldemort, but he wasn't quite sure. Albus had cleared it up for him, and after leaving he carried new knowledge with him.

The child had much the same things in common with Voldemort with all that he knew. The young wizard or witch was in need of help, as it seemed like it was consuming them. The deepness of hatred can make you fall into a life of insanity to kill anything in your way. As it seems the teen was holding a very good head over their shoulder considering that the secrets were kept for so long. At least two years the book had existed with numerous of entries. The anger written, but no student has ever showed any signs of this type of ability to hate anything or anyone.

Severus lingered onto other pages of how the writer's innocence was torn from him. Of how a man, the writer of these day by pieces, called a pig headed swine who wanted nothing, but pleasure from his pains. How the teen did nothing wrong, but try his best to keep himself more stable with all he had been put through. Until he fell lower then what people tell him he is, the child writing Severus could now identify as male who had been raped one night. The writing evidently showed the nervousness of that night and the weeks later on. How the teen felt as if he lost almost everything to a man with no power greater over him, and yet the man did.

Severus noted that it was getting late, and yet he still did not know the name of the child. He looked again searching for a name through the pages, but nothing really came up. He looked to the end, as he saw something he hadn't really expected. The name was scraped at the back cover of the book: '_Harry Potter, Freak Among Freaks'_ something then hit home. Harry Potter was the troubled child, and Severus was to blind to see that Potter, was nothing like the Potter he used to know.

He had to report this to Albus so he may have a chat with that young Gryffindor. He knew very well that if he had go and to help Harry, he'd only refuse it. He knew he couldn't do this very well right now so he had decided to wait until morning to tell the Albus. Looking back down at the book he mentally slapped himself for being so wrong. He wondered why he thought such things about Potter. He shook his head; it was because he thought he was Potter and not Harry. He now knew what he would have to do once he could sort everything out and the battle was done and over with. He read over the name, _'Harry Potter Freak Among Freaks'_ he then looked to the bottom that had something more lightly inscribed Jounal dei sogni.

"Jounal dei sogni?" Severus said outloud, why would Harry have that written, and what did that mean. As soon as he knew it though, something happened, Severus was suddenly takened by a flash of light and landed to somewhere he didn't expect to be in. A world so different then the one he knew, he swore that he ever could get back he'd apologies and then kill Harry.

~*~*~

As Severus was at the other world, morning had dawned into the other that he had left. The cutains of night lifted away, as people had started there busy day. Hogwarts was busy running about as the students gathered to have breakfast and leave for classes. The unusual thing for the students was that there was no Severus Snape sitting at the teachers table. Some of the Slytherins had worried looks on there faces. None of them had seen him all of this morning, not even at the potions class where he usually busy prepare the first class lessons.

Harry had noticed that the teachers worry for Severus. As he seemed to get the feeling that he should be worried to. He hadn't had a dream or nightmare of Voldemort for a while, so it's possible that Voldemort might have killed Severus. It was a thought that ran through his head, he hoped, he really did hope that his thoughts weren't right and it was only his own imagination scaring him silly. Then again, where could the potion master be if he wasn't in his class? He thought on it, and decided that he probably slept late in, or finally caught a cold or something.

Hermione caught the upset look on Harry's face as she remembered that time when she figured out that Harry was falling for the potions professor. She sighed and nudged him and flashed him a smile, and mouthed so Ron wouldn't hear. _"Don't worry, I think he's alright."_

Harry nodded to his friends, hoping that she was right. He sighed, and decided to continue and eat his breakfast, trying to reassure himself that he would see Severus sometime today. The man did really hate him and wanted to get him expelled as soon as possible. He had been doing that for years, so most likely he will now. He glanced down staring a the food infront of him and ate his food slowly until he would be dragged to class.

He had went into his bag to check if he had everything he needed, and that everything was in there. He looked around and nothing seemed missing until he realized it. His journal was gone, it was the only thing missing. He did a double check and his face grew slightly pale. He knew that his secret would be out, he silently groaned, but not as softly as he thought.

"What's wrong 'Arry?" Ron asked still munching the food in his mouth, as Hermione hit him for not chewing then talking after.

"It's nothing, I'm just missing something out of my bag. I'm sure I'll find it later." Harry said, as he silently hoped in his mind that Malfoy or Snape got a hold of it. That would be the end of his life, and it'd be worse if anyone figured out who he was writig his affections about in that book.

"Alright, but if ya need help with finding it 'Arry, I'll help." Ron said, as he innocently smiled to Hermione, showing her that he ate before he spoke, she just rolled her eyes at him.

Harry just grinned and hoped for the best, he did have to keep his cool anyway. Harry looked up to the table again, and saw professor McGonagall come in and whisper something to the headmaster. The headmaster looked serious when he nodded as professorMcGonagall gave him something. The headmaster looked at the object as he told her something. She nodded and went off to the Gryffindor table close to where Harry was, she stopped in her tracks, as Harry's heart beat seemed to stop. Someone had found out, and his walls crashed as McGongall spoked in a very sympathetic and low voice.

"Mr. Potter, I think after your done here. You should go and see professor Dumbledor." And with that she looked at him with her eyes almost ready to cry as she walked off.

Harry just sat there still, nothing, Hermione then knew what had happened. Someone finally found out his secrets he so well kept hidden. She looked to her friend and realized that now he had to face it on his own and revealing the truth to the headmaster. Hermione then thought what could've happened, she hoped to that Harry wouldn't have to be sent to the orphange, not while he was almost eighteen. Ron just looked at him curiously, what was going on was all he thought. He'd find out sooner or later, he knew that much for sure. He wasn't all that slow to realize things or that stupid.

A/N: I hope that it was a good enough, and longer chapter, and I hoped you liked it, so don't forget to R&R. Oh and if anyone would like to be my beta, I'd be happy for you to except the position.

Signed the ever so cautious author, Lover-G


	3. Discovering A Different World

A/N: Hey guys, I wanted to thank the numerous of people who reviewed and helped me for the story. I'd also like the people who have helped me. I am planning to make some corrections in my fic. I still wanna thank my reviewers. You guys are the best of the best. I will be continuing this fic and make up for the days I've missed on doing writing, but I had this new idea pop up and the exams are coming close and I don't like failing, and recently some bad things have happened, and some good things… I do too much match making, but anyways. Just wanted to say that I've been creating two new fics and hopefully you'll like them two once I sort out the plot and everything else.  Now on with the story after this long rant. Look down there and read. *Blows bubble kisses and winks to readers*

Chapter Three: Discovering A Different World

Harry walked up familiar steps tracing to professor Dumbledore's office. His mind was clouded with thoughts of many things. He kept on trying to convince himself that it was just silly thinking that professor Dumbledor wouldn't have had found out. Soon enough he had reached the gargoyle figure and spoke out the password to it, and the stairs began to appear.

"Harry my dear boy, please do sit. For what I am about to say will be long to bare." Professor Dumbledore said as Harry gulped and noticed that professor Dumbledore hadn't offered any Lemon Drops.

"Yes sir." That was the only reply that came from Harry's now quiet voice. He glanced around the room and silently praying in his mind that the headmaster would not send him to St. Mungo.

"Yes now well Harry, I just wanted to ask you, how have your relatives been treating you lately, and I want the honest truth Harry?" Professor Dumbledore said, with a serious look.

Harry just sat there frozen trying to find something to say, but Harry knew that they probably already found out about what had happened to him over last summer and the summers before. His heat pounded in his chest as if he were to die as if it were a wild maniac on the loose hunting him down. He turned away from the headmaster's gaze and answered. "The way they usually do and I deserved it."

Professor Dumbledore looked at Harry with sadness in his eyes; it seemed like the professor's twinkle left him. "Harry, being beat up, sold out, or raped is nothing to deserve. God Harry you're young and you didn't tell anyone about this to stop them?"

Harry's eyes tried to hold back the tears that wanted to pour a river of pain and sorrow. The old professor came around to him and hugged the boy as if it were his own child he was hugging. "Harry you wont have to stay with them any longer I promise, you have to go to court for this though. You'll be free from this life of pain."

Harry just looked to the old professor that released himself from hugging him. Harry looked him in the eye. "It's not that simple professor.  I don't think I'd be able to face them, and I think I deserve half of what they do to me. I caused so much death around myself and other people." Harry said as his tears still flowed, but his voice became steady.

"My boy, Harry, you have to understand we are in war. People die everyday Harry it's not your fault or anyone else's fault. Harry we don't know when we die it's all up to fate and destiny, not us." Professor Dumbledore said as he offered Harry tissue.

"Thank you. I understand sir, but you know I feel like I did it, the pain isn't what I hate, but it's sometimes… something that I need." Harry said as he blew his nose.

"I understand Harry, we will help you to stop that." Professor Dumbledore said, as he gave back Harry the book and a sound was heard from the back round. The gargoyle staircase was opened again, and this time Professor McGonagall came up. "Yes Minerva?"

"It's Severus, Albus I caught a couple of the third years running around the halls saying that Severus was not teaching class. What happened to him Albus?" Professor McGonagall asked in worry for her fellow colleague. 

The headmaster looked to her. "Are you sure Minerva?" Professor McGonagall could do was nod. "He hasn't gone to any death eater meeting in a while. I can't understand it, have you checked his rooms?" Professor McGonagall nodded once again.

"You don't think that a death eater found out and dragged him out of the castle to kill him." Professor McGonagall said as she kept on jumping to think of the worse things that could've happened to Professor Snape.

Harry watched as the two talked back and forth, as Harry opened his journal to check if everything was okay and nothing really happened to it. He read through the last couple of pages and his eyes widen. Professor Snape must've said the spell to activate him into going into the world he had been creating. He read back, many of things changed in the book even what he wrote last night. They didn't exist anymore. 

He looked up to both his professors and said in a quiet and heard voice. "I think I know where Professor Snape is."

"Oh Mr. Potter that's good, so where is he so I can smack him for making me worry?" Professor McGonagall asked, as she seemed now interested.

"Um, well that's kind of hard to explain, but he's in my journal professor." Harry said weakly as he continued to read the book looking and following what Snape seemed to be doing. "The mysterious unknown figure walked along the outside of Bubble Town reaching to it. The figure noticed the bubble coming out of it and the loud laughter made. The man sighed and said, 'If this is the only place I'll be able to get answer to get back to Hogwarts then so be it, bloody cheerful people.' He made to the opening gates of the town as horns blew out when a small child screamed and ran away. The bubble fairy guards had came…"

The two teacher's looked to Harry, and Harry looked to them. "Could you explain to us what happened Harry, and how he got in there?"

"He must've said my chant, only I enter into there and I'm the only one who can get out of there. I don't understand how he got in, unless..." Harry said as he looked back down to the book. The professor sure was annoyed by what he could tell from reading the book.

"Unless what Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"I charmed my book with many things professor, whatever spells I can get my hands on that seem like a good idea to put it here." Harry said as he watched the both of them cautious into what he would say. "The book has my essence so when I die a part of myself would live in there, I also putted a soul mate charm on it, so if I ever find my soul mate or when my soul mate finds this book and I'm dead they may join me in that world, or just even enter it with me if we are both alive."

"So you're saying, but that's, oh my." Professor McGonagall said as she tried to come up with something to say completely but couldn't.

"Harry, I've read some things in that book that I know I shouldn't have, but I need to know what you do considering that you have also gone during the day while classes go on. You can't do things like that unless you have a time turner, and I know my dear boy you don't have that." Professor Dumbledore said as he was stumped as to how the boy stayed in the book world that Harry had created and still attend classes.

"Well, I duplicate myself I guess you could say sir." Harry said as he smiled sheepishly. "With other added spells to it, a dummy duplicate can do wonders when you know what other spells to put on it."

"Well then Mr. Potter, I guess the only we have to say is that, you be needing to get into that book seeing as we can't get in there." Professor McGonagall said as she looked to the book.

Harry nodded and looked to both of them. "Professors, I just want to tell you before I leave that you can't tell anyone and 'Moine's the only other person who know. She can fill you in on anymore questions if you wish. Just watch the book and make sure it doesn't fall into any ones hands." Harry said as they nodded to him.

"Good luck Mr. Potter." Both Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore said as Harry chanted the spell and his duplicate was left in the room with the professors, while the real Harry was gone.

Harry's duplicate looked to the book now on a stand and read some. "Good lucky Master Harry."

Both professors rose an eye, the duplicate had a mind of it's own. No wonder no one could probably try to tell the two apart. The duplicate looked around its surroundings and looked to the other two professors. "Hello, my names Harold. Harry filled me in and told me that you two know everything, I'm Harry's duplicate and some of his happiness. You can say I'm a part of his loving emotions in flesh."

The two looked at each other then to the Harry look a like. "That's impossible." Professor McGonagall exclaimed.

"Yes well Minerva, there is always something unusual about Mr. Potter and this is one of them." Professor Dumbledore said as he chuckled a bit. "Well, we'll be discussing this with Ms. Granger later on the weekend, with you of course Minerva. Now Harold, you are dismissed." Dumbledore then sat down in his seat and he read what the book revealed after reading things before to catch on what happened.

~*~*~

Severus looked around the surrounds as he was walking through. He had then began to hear laughter somewhere near by and rushed to it, 'People,' he thought, 'Finally I might just get out of the strange place.'

Severus had seen many bubbles come out of the town and hear louder laughter. Severus seemed annoyed, but if this was the closest thing he could get to civilization the so be it. Severus kept on going as he saw a little girl staring at him when she came near the gates. The girl scream loudly and ran away saying some gibberish about one of the queen's dark henchmen and such. Everything went silent as then black and red bubbles blossomed from the town's fountain, then the yellow and light blue that originally was popping up.

Severus walked in through the bubble gates as everything was still and quiet and all you could hear were tiny trumpets and busy buzzing sounds. "Attack!" A small voice was heard. Severus looked behind himself to see the tiny fairy being, it was so different then the ones he saw. Severus glared at it as small bubbles that flew at him, and for some odd reason the bubbles seemed to be able to be as powerful as a pinch.

He looked to the multiple of bubble fairies that surrounded him. "Insufferable beings. Would you stop that, I just wanted to ask a question."

"Liar, you wanted to take over and make us do that queen's dirty work. No more." A fairy said that wore a crown over its head.

"And who are you to call me a liar?" Serverus asked, as he was ready to squeeze the air out of the little cute critter.

"I, Prince Pop the III and captain of this fairy bubble army say that you is a liar." The young fairy said as he shot a bubble at Severus' left check.

"Well you spoiled brat, I am not a liar. In fact I don't even belong here." Severus said as he tried to snatch the creature in his hands.

"Your right you don't belong here, you belong in Prince Harlem's dungeons." The fairy said as he got in position with the other fairies. Severus just raised a brow as to what they would do. The fairies took out a blow bubble tool and blew at the same time, as each bubble grew bigger the combined together to trapped Severus into a huge solid bubble that he tried to get out of. Even with his wand and the spell was absorbed.

"Puffs!" The prince called out and then a flying lion cub came to the call of her master. "Take him to prince Harlem, tell him it's a gift from me."

The lion nodded and telepathically spoke to him. "Of course Pop-Pop." And the lion left as the town's people showed in happiness after the bubble fairies told them it was all right to come out. The young lion took him into one of the windows of Prince Harlem's private chambers. The lion meowed a small roar as the prince heard it he looked to the lion.

"Ah, a present from the bubble fairy prince. His second capture." Harlem said as he smiled wickedly and took the knife above the bubble. Severus hid his fear as he hoped that his life wouldn't end yet. Harlem stabbed the bubble but the sharp knife broke. "Still as tough hold as ever, to bad we can't leave him in there and let him die, but we need him don't we Puffs. To tell me how I can get revenge against my stepmother now don't we." The lion only nodded to the prince.

Severus just looked to the young male before him. Severus just thought him to be a lunatic. "Let me out of this contraption." Severus said as he readied his wand.

"No I think not, well until you get down to the dungeons. Go ahead Puffs, just tell my guards to put him in, let's say a private cell." Prince Harlem said as the cat nodded to him and left and telepathically sent her own regards to the prince. The lion went downstairs and got the cell throwing in the bubble then popping it. The lion growled before leaving. 

Severus took out his wand as a person from the next cell said something to him, "That won't be working anytime soon boy. The spell will only repel back on you or diminish; the bars were made right after the prince found out how we were escaping by. He had a special wizard do a job from keeping us all in."

Severus grunted and saw how hopeless it was; he sighed inwardly, now for sure he wouldn't complain if he had got back home. He wouldn't mind if he got out of this and that if Professor Dumbledore ever decides to offer Severus a Lemon Drop, he'd take it instantly. He sat on the bed, and closed his eyes and wished that this was only a dream.

~*~*~

Harry had woken up a few minutes later to be coming here, his safe haven. He quickly said as spell to see him self in a mirror and changed out of his dark robes to the deep green forest ones he wore here. He looked around his surroundings and quickly summoned a horse near by, a horse, black cobalt colored one appeared in the mist of nothing as it neared Harry and bowed down to him. It rose and Harry got on to the back of the horse, and they rode off quickly for Bubble Town, he was hoping that the fairy prince hadn't yet sent Severus to Prince Harlem's castle.

He silently hoped that his Professor was okay as he raced towards the town, he got the feeling that nothing was okay and that this was more then a rescue mission then ever. He felt as if something wrong had just happened and he stopped the horse, as his mind was concentrated on something. He isn't here just to save Severus anymore; he has to also help in the defeat in the evil queen. He had felt destiny pull that to his attention as he had a future flash. This was going to be a very long adventure.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter, don't worry they'll be a whole lot more to come. I love you guys all and for giving me the help I need to work on this fic. I love the reviews; I guess that's why a lot of these authors write for. Bye bye, see you in the next chapter.


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